Why am I (really) running a marathon?...................................

In the on line Yoga newsletter there was an article about what a woman learned about herself when she decided to take Salsa dance lessons. Yes, she learned a step or two, but what she came to understand was something much more important than how to dance. The following is a quote from the article:

When you give all your attention to an activity, you can learn a lot about yourself—the ways in which you are growing, the ways in which you are not. You might be learning to dance, how to break forward on the count of “2” and back on the count of “6,” and how to do an inside turn, but you are also learning how you relate to others, how kind or unkind you are, how forgiving, how comfortable with imperfection—in yourself and in others.

As soon as I read that I translated it to my training for the marathon. Actually back to three years ago when I was just starting to run. Yes, my running posture has improved. I know better what my body likes to eat before, during, and after a run. I have learned what parts of my body are prone to chafing and what parts don't. All important things, but they don't begin to touch on how running has changed my life.

When I first started running it was for one simple reason; to burn more calories so I could lose more weight. At the time, I had no idea of the gift I was giving myself. During that time in my life I was massaging a couple of people that were training, and running marathons. I can remember as clear as if it were yesterday all the thoughts I had about never (and I mean never with a capital N) being able to complete that kind of distance. And in all honesty all the thoughts I had about not being able to "get" why they would want to put themselves through that kind of torture?

Running has helped me gain patience. Not that I am anywhere near mastery over the P word, but as I slowly began to see (actually I felt them before I saw them) the changes within I began to get a grasp on the concept of enjoying the journey and not always rushing onto the next goal. Heck I finally got that sometimes one doesn't even need to have an end goal in site as long as they are having a good trip. Amazing thought isn't it?

For the first time in my life I began to truly be okay with letting others be who they were. What they wanted for themselves was finally okay by me. Did it change that I would never want those things for myself? Not one bit. But if they could accept my new-found craziness without understanding it who was I to want something different for them no matter how well meaning my desires?

With a less than stellar childhood I always knew I was made of strong stuff, but the more I run the more I find out just how strong I am. Ya I'm gaining in muscle strength, but what I'm talking about is the kind of strength that makes me believe there is no such thing as an impossible task, nothing that can't be worked out if one wants it badly enough. I've always been stubborn, but this is stubborn in a good way. Stubborn in a problem solving way, in a look at it from all angles way.

Don't get me wrong and believe that since I have been running I have figured out how to always get my way( Think of how rich I would be if that were true and I could market the formula). Percentage wise I am sure I am averaging about the same as before. What is different is my ability to let silly things go. It is easier for me to put things in perspective as to what is important and what simply isn't since participating in a thirteen hour long trail race. Think how zen-like I will be after participating in a twenty-four hour long trail race (did I just say that out loud? That's still suppose to be my little secret since I don't want to scare my oldest off before she completes the marathon. Any takers in doing it with us?).

I would be fibbing if I said I wasn't running the marathon so I could brag about having done it. Fortunately for me as I have been training and preparing to do so (wouldn't the last laugh be on me if I didn't take it seriously and fell short of my goal) I have been given a plethora of other gifts, all much greater than bragging rights! Though bragging rights can be pretty cool...

Speaking of bragging, there is another quote from the article that I want to mention, but this post is long enough so keep an eye out for part two.