End of the month totals.........................

Otherwise titled "No wonder I feel so tired all the time."

Funny story along those lines... They are making a movie in our town A former student is dong it for his senior college project) and a dear friend is in charge of wardrobe. I told her I would help her with some sewing and she came to drop it off last night. The other piece you need to know is my sister is visiting from out of town.

It is (only) 8:00 at night and I am already in bed, my sister is sitting at the foot of the bed and we are chatting. (my) Mister answers the door and tells my friend I am downstairs (where my bed is now that the OPs have taken over the bedrooms). She comes down the stairs and into the room, expels a huge gasp, and exclaims "WHAT'S WRONG?" What? I told her nothing, I was just in bed because I had only gotten three hours of sleep the night before, I was tired, and I was getting up at 5:30 AM to run six miles. Relieved she says, "Oh. Well I saw you in bed, and I saw your sister was here and I thought you were deathly ill and she had flown in to take care of you." (me) "And you instantly panicked because you didn't know who you were going to get to do the sewing." JK.

Okay, so maybe most people don't go to bed at 8:00 at night (really it is more like 10 most nights) but then most folks don't log one hundred and twenty-two (122) miles in a months time! Yup! You read that correctly! My highest monthly mileage ever. No speed work, no speed records, some of those miles walked, but I am counting every single one of them, proudly, and without apology for their quality. They are mine, and they fulfill my requirements as well as represent many steps toward my goals.

For me, part of my running journey has been about learning to love and accept myself just the way I am, and stop the insane comparing of my parts/skills to everyone that is faster, better, skinnier, in possession of thighs that don't rub together and make their shorts bunch up between their legs. You name it, I have compared it... and not in a healthy way.

As I put July in the books I want to say thanks to all of you that are taking this journey with me by reading this blog, and/or in the middle of a similar journey of your own. It is really helpful for me to know you are out there and that we can lean on one another for support and encouragement. That is what will make the difference between our failure and our success. Give yourself a pat on the back and a hug from me since my arms aren't long enough to do it myself. Thanks.

P.S.............................

When I went to my training this weekend I found out that Thai massage is done on the floor, with the therapist crawling around on their knees. My scraped up knee turned out to be a constant reminder to keep control over my negative thoughts. Message received.

Just thought I would pass along the reminder...

Another long run in the books...............................



Just as planned, I got up and out of the house by 4:00 AM to do my eighteen mile run. The first couple of blocks had street lights and I was almost getting cocky when I noted the pitch blackness just ahead of me.



Bravely I entered into it, and spent the next few minutes freaking myself out thinking clumps of weeds were small animals. Every few minutes a flash of lightening would erupt and I would see that the wild animals were all in my mind.



Being a work day there was a surprising number of cars on the road even at this early hour. To get my mind off the animals I started thinking about a conversation I had with my sister last night. Let this be a lesson to you to keep your thoughts honorable while you run to avoid injury. The conversation went something along these lines: (me) I got you some South Beach bars while I was at the store. (her) What kind did you get? (me) The ones with 10 gms of protein in them. (her) Ya, but what kind? What if I don't like them? (me) Then you don't have to eat them. End of conversation... Replaying it, I guess I was more irritated with her than I had thought at the time, because this time I changed my last line to "A simple thank you would have done just fine." EXACTLY as I was thinking this I went to step off the road to avoid an on-coming car. My left foot came down half on, half off the road, my ankle rolled and my right knee slammed into the pavement. The pain was of the variety that makes you instantly nauseous. Lucky for me I fell after the car had passes so I took a minute to repeat my mantra, "I am healthy and injury free" before attempting to get up. My ankle held me fine and my knee was a nice reminder to keep my thoughts pure so they don't injure me!



Seventeen miles to go... Gotta tell you that there was a time that I would have turned around and went home and that would have been a fine, very ok thing to do. When did I turn into a psycho runner that doesn't let a little thing like pain bother her? Not sure, but I sure do love that feeling. I almost don't want to wash off the blood, but cart it around as a visible badge of courage for the world to see. Jealous aren't you?





The next excitement came in the form of a gentle little rain shower. I knew I should have brought a hat. Oh well, it wasn't coming down that hard and I did remember a small towel to wipe off my sweat so I used that as needed. See why I carry a full pack?


I ended up walking the last threeish miles as my ankle began to hurt on the down step. Knowing I needed to be out of town all weekend, participating in a massage class I did not want to end up with a real injury. The full distance took me the full four allotted hours to complete, which would have still given me two full hours to complete the last eight miles before the cutoff time had it been marathon day today. Piece a cake! considering I will be in even better shape by October.

So, thirty-two miles goes in the books for this week. I am excited to officially add up the miles for the month next Wednesday as I know I did more miles this month than I did in June! WooHoo!

Lightening the load.................................

I reached my goal and cut off the biggest share of my hair so I can donate it to Locks of Love. Had my first "short hair" run in some time last night, and it felt great to not have all that hair dancing around my face, tickling my neck.

A MUST have in my GIANT list of must haves in my camel bac were extra ponytail holders to keep my hair under control. Won't be needing those anymore, so out they go...

Unfortunately it won't make much of a difference in the overall weight or available space in the pack. Most likely not enough for the coveted extra (security) box of raisins. Just have to stick with the current three boxes stashed in the pack, until winter when I won't need the bug spray. I never eaten more than one box on a run, it just makes me feel good knowing they are there if I need them.

Oh the things a runner must learn to live with!

Tomorrow is the big eighteen miler. Heading out at 4:00 AM with a flashlight. Pray that I don't get ran over by a deer before the sun rises. Don't laugh... I've had a couple of close calls in the past on early morning runs. The deer were not at all pleased!

Help wanted...........................

I woke up in a cold sweat and a full-on panic at three this morning. I am not sure I can do my eighteen mile run this Friday morning.

Of course I can physically complete it, but it is the timing thing. My youngest has a first shift job now so she leaves the house early. (my) Mister has some stupid (don't tell him I said that) class that he has to attend on Friday so his schedule is not flexible for that day like it usually is.

I should be worrying about later in that same day, when I need to head out for a four plus hour drive to Chicago to take a continuing education class since I am still not 100% sure I have the OP care covered for that either, but apparently running is my top priority.

I finally got myself back to sleep with the thought that I will borrow that headlamp thingy (my) Mister has and just start my run at three or four in the morning.

I know that everything will work out just the way it is suppose to. It just never hurts to ask friends for positive thoughts that I will be okay with the way things unfold, and be able to avoid the negative, self abuse talk that I tend to revert to when life's path gets a bit bumpy. I love to point out to myself how I let myself down, and how I could have been more perfect. I can be such a bitch to myself, and I am really trying to let all that junk go. So think positive thoughts for me regarding these behaviors please. Thanks so much!

P.S.
A big shout out to KATE on a new PR. You are a star Kate! Huge congrates to you!

Close, but no cigar...........................

I was about six seconds off a 5K PR for yesterday's race, completing it in 30:39.

I did my official warm ups and stretches prior to the start of the race, then waiting for those last ten minutes to tick off started chatting with another woman. After a bit she says, "why is everyone over here to the side? Doesn't the race start where it says START?" One would think so, but it turns out that sign must have been for the kids, as when I looked at my watch it was one minute until race time. That is what happens when the microphone system is working as well as it could be.

Feeling confident I lined up with the ten minute pack, and in about three more minutes we were off. After only one (laugh provoking) comment in response to an overheard comment I managed to focus on the job at hand and ignore the crowd.

The course went out of a huge parking lot, down to a side road and then down that road a ways looped back up the same road to reverse the route. I was proud that I made it almost all the way to the first mile marker before the winners were looping back past me.

At the turn around point they were handing out those plastic Lai (No! It didn't have an Hawaiian theme, they just were), so I ask for a purple one to accent my green and white running top, and headed back from where I had come.

Close to the two mile marker I couldn't shut up anymore. When I would see an especially tired looking face I would encourage them to "keep going! They are giving out presents at the turn around."

At two miles I was well on track to beat my PR of 30:30, but once I started talking seems I couldn't stop so I slipped back into my habit of thanking the volunteers and shouting encouragement to people that looked like they needed it. The fact that the last fifty or so yards to the finish were a (very) slight uphill that felt much more like a full hill was my final undoing. Just before the finish the guy in front of me began to slow to a walk so I yelled out for him to keep going and give me something to catch. He glanced back over his shoulder to see who had said that, saw me, and was off like a light. While I might like to think he thought me a threat, it is much more likely that he thought," there is no way I am going to let someone that slow pass me." Regardless, it pushed him into a photo-flash finish. Let's just leave it at I didn't catch him as was the original plan.

Should I be sad, or more angry at myself because I didn't finish with a faster time? Some people might think so, but that is not what my running is about. Running has been a way for me to show self-love and commitment. I am proud that I participated and had the experience. I am pleased with my time. And like I told a lady that was expressing disappointment in the fact that she had ended up walking more than she had planned to, "That's what the next race can be for. This race was for doing as good as you did today."

Should I be focusing more on speed work? Probably, since I really haven't been doing any. But again, my primary goal for running is not to get faster. My goal is to be out there and if I waste nine seconds letting others know I value their participation, and offering encouragement, it is time well wasted for my mental and spiritual well-being. It's interactions like those that will get me out to the next race, the next training run, not the drive to push myself against the clock.

Don't get me wrong. I was running my fastest, running my little heart out if you will. I did my best, and will always give my best. Who knows what that might mean next race?

NO! I was not ran over by a car..............................

Just really busy and summer storms crashing my Internet service.

My favorite things about long runs are what I used to consider long runs now seem like a piece of cake.

Wednesday I went with a friend to sit while she had some outpatient surgery. Once they took her to surgery I went out and did six miles around the local college campus. When I was finished I couldn't believe how short it had seemed. Just the thought of running for an hour used be totally overwhelming to me. When I finished the run I found a bathroom and took a sink bath to get the sweat off and then changed my clothes. Ya! I got a few weird looks, but trust me I have done much stranger things in my lifetime.

Doing things like that confirm that this running thing is going to be sticking around. The old me would search high and low for a reason to avoid exercise, and justify till the cows came home all the reasons why I didn't have time to exercise. It saddens me that if I had just shut up and exercised instead of fighting it I would be that much farther ahead today. But it wasn't my time them. It is my time now.

Normally I do my long runs on Sunday's but I am doing a local 5K with (my) Mister this Sunday so I plan to get up and do ten miles in the morning. Right now I need to head out and pick up my sister from the airport which is an hour away. Her first plane was delayed and she is not a happy camper right about now. If I am late she will yell at me the whole car ride home. Not that I can blame her, but if I can avoid it I would be a fool not to do so. Right? Keep your fingers crossed that there are no more delays as I am a major crab if I am not in bed by 10:00PM.

My island run..............................

Today’s run was my best run in a long time. I felt strong and full of energy. We arrived at the island and after passing our luggage off to our hotel I headed out. The weather was perfect, cool and not too windy. For the first six miles I only saw one or two other people so I was able to quietly commune with nature and just enjoy being. At the end of the first time around the island (8 miles) I stopped to use the bathroom, grab an energy bar, and I was off for the second loop. Though the route was the same it seemed completely different as by this time of the morning there were more people out and the activity on the water had picked up.

I ended up doing the full sixteen miles in 3:12, which is a fine marathon pace fore me. I did turn off my stop watch while I went to the bathroom, when I stopped to help a little girl that had fallen off her bike and skinned her knee, and when I stopped to help a teen that had caught her jeans in the bike chain.

Finishing up mile sixteen I was amazed at how good I felt and even toyed with the idea of going farther. Then I finished, and slowed to a walk. After about ten steps it was like a switch flipped and all of a sudden I could barely move. Everything hurt and I had a distinct limp on the left. Made me have that thought of “how am I ever going to do the whole thing?” I let the thought run its course through my brain, and then politely told it to move along. Of course I will be able to do the entire marathon. That's what all this training is about. Having the crowds around cheering us on is going to be a huge help, just as the occasional smile and kind word I received today helped to pass the time and encourage me to run strong and proud.

Bonus! I think I might be getting things down a bit better in the nutrition/hydration department as I had no gastric upset during or after my run. I carried enough stuff with me to keep me from dehydrating during the run, and my youngest met me right after I was finished and gave me my boost to drink and another bottle of water. Then we found some grass and she stretched me and we walked for a bit.

After that we went back to our hotel room where I showered, ate, and took a little nap before going out and enjoying the rest of the day on the island. It felt really good to feel really good while running. Apparently, this little island get-away was just was the doctor ordered.

Quick catch up.......................

I'm sitting in a hotel room (with free Internet) watching The Next Top Model because they don't have the Lifetime Channel. What's up with that? We are staying at Mackinaw City and will head to the island where I plan to run around it twice to complete my scheduled 16 mile long run for the week.

After taking Tuesday and Wednesday off, I felt like running Friday night (did four) and then ran 3 on Saturday so I could take off today when we were traveling. I feel much refreshed in mind and body, and have an excitement back about running that was missing a week ago. I know a big part of it is running in a new place. I would do that more if I could get away from the house easier.

So stay tuned for my report about a fabulous run. If our hotel on the island doesn't have Internet service you will have to wait until Wednesday. Keep your fingers crossed.

Been on a short hiatus...................................

If I have any regular readers of this blog you might have noticed I've been M.I.A. the last couple of days. After my rough mental week last week I took stock of what was going on. On my last long run, my pace was so slow that I might as well have been walking. In addition to that more and more "spots" of pain were showing up. Over-use? Muscle-guarding? Poor form? Probably all of the above.

I decided that in the full scheme of my training missing twelve miles (the schedule had called for six each day) would not make me unable to complete the marathon, and the extra two rest days might be just what the doctor ordered.

I used both days wisely. My youngest has been massaging the sore spots, and when she started I found out there were many, many more than I has suspected. Under my direction she is a really good massage therapist, she is convenient, and she charges a LOT less than my other therapist does. She would work on my legs (mostly calfs) for maybe ten minutes and then give them a break and we would do it again a few times throughout the day. I am unbelievably better this morning.

I also took walks all three off days just to keep the blood flowing and muscles moving, and focused on my diet. I currently have three kinds of sprouts brewing in the kitchen. The reason I got away from eating raw was not taking the time to get things going so there was good choices available to me when I got hungry. My garden is also right on the cusp of producing, I have had two cucumbers and two green peppers out of the garden and have tons of blossoms and green tomatoes that should start to be ready in a week or so. YUM!

So, I am planning to run three miles this afternoon, to see how the legs feel. I know the mind is feeling better because I am looking forward to it. Rest...It does a body good!

Can't believe how glad I am that that is done......................................

Today's twelve mile run that is. Every single step was mental torture, and I have no idea why. Doing three miles less than last week one would think it would be easier to get out and get moving. Not true. I got up fine, got out okay, and did the first two miles without any difficulty, and then I just wanted to be done.

I didn't have any more aches than normal, but seemed to focus on each and everyone each time a foot made contact with the pavement. Of course the more one focuses on the negative, the more glaring it becomes.

Can it be chalked up to lack of sleep and/or relaxation? (my) Mister has gone camping and has not been around to help out, but my youngest has been a wonderful substitute. My eating seems to be falling into a nice pattern, no meat and the only dairy I had was the creamer in my coffee. I actually thought about giving up cream in my coffee, but it has such an emotional place in my day that I am choosing not to do that right now. It isn't about the caffeine, because I have no problem doing my run before having coffee. Sometimes I even forget to have some when I get back if the OPs are beginning to get up and I get busy with them. It is more like a comforting companion as I wake up with my computer in the early hours of my day. A piece of a routine that can't be nearly as bad for me as a lot of other things might be.

So, one more long run written down for the record book. What? You bet I'm counting it! I did the time, even if it wasn't a stellar time (or run) I am proud that I completed it. Isn't it the things in life that we do even if we don't want to do them that have the most to teach us? Anyone can do something they are enjoying. Pushing through the mental tantrums is great training for a marathon, as you WILL be pushed to the end of your physical endurance and it WILL come down to mind over matter. "I can (and will)!" Another mantra to keep handy?

Power is back in full force........................

We lost power yesterday, for the first time in a long time. Fortunately it was only for about five hours, during the day, so except for the noise of the television, no one really missed much.

For the first time since last Sunday I woke up without feeling the need to roll over and go back to sleep. Must mean I am ready for another long run? Let's recap...

Monday, day off...Tuesday, five miles instead of six...Wednesday, twelve miles on the bike instead of running six... Thursday, I actually ran the scheduled three miles...Friday, a day off.

That is quite a bit of modification to the program just to get ready to do it again, but this week that is what it took. Who knows what next week will bring or how I will feel. Part of this whole journey is to see what happens during it. If I learn to go with the flow and listen to my body, that will be an added bonus since at times I have been known to be rigid to a fault. Yup! Talking about me!

This was an off week mentally, probably scheduling and weather had a lot to do with that, maybe it was just an off week. Regardless, behind us it goes and off towards the future go I.

Up and at em.........................

The plan of attack for today's run was to have (my) Mister wake me up as he was leaving for work giving me thirty to forty-five minutes of wake-up time before the time I wanted to be out the door. I thought taking time to wake up a bit would enhance my run. The reality turned out to be knowing I was up before I really needed to be (I can get dressed and out the door in under ten minutes if necessary) made me want to roll over and go back to sleep.

I am not a snoozer! The moment the alarm goes off I am up and out of bed. Heck, normally I wake up a minute or two before it goes off. Why? Because I have programmed myself this way, the same way others choose to set the alarm to go off early and then hit the snooze button for an hour or so. It was interesting to note that asking to be woke up earlier than needed was not as helpful as I anticipated.

After about a minute of self arguing about getting up or rolling over the, "You are going to hate yourself if you don't get out and run this morning" won out and I threw back the covers and was up. Now what? I was afraid that if I started my regular wake-up routine that I would get sucked in and not get out the door. Fine! May as well get dressed and head out then. That was, after all, the reason for getting up before the chickens. Wasn't it?

Another discovery I made was with this early rising hour comes the inherent dangers of running in pre-dawn lighting. It is not cars or potholes, but rather the distinct possibility of colliding with the stampede of deer that I startled, not once but twice within the first mile of the run. Fortunately we all managed to go our separate way unharmed.

I was suppose to go a distance of six miles, but ended up pampering myself and only going five, walking chunks of that. I will do the other mile this evening with the dogs. I am still feeling tenderness in my lower legs from wearing the worn out shoes and I am not going to be stupid and push myself into an injury.

Now that I am done with the run I am really glad I got up and got it over with. Even if I do nothing else today I will not have to feel lazy or like I am wasting my day, but can instead brag about getting up and running five miles before 6AM. That counts for something now. Doesn't it?

Reflections.........................

I was pretty amazed this morning how NOT sore I was upon getting out of bed. Not that I am ache free, just that I thought I would feel worse.

My muscles do feel used and a bit tired. Another reason why it is good that I have added an extra day off. I am really, really glad that I don't have running on my schedule today. I am not sure I am ready to do six miles tomorrow, but I am trying to keep an open mind.

What I have been thinking over and over today is, "How in the world do people do marathon after marathon, weekend after weekend? Certainly they are in better shape than I could ever hope to be in, but how much can one body be made to take? I keep thinking that if I feel the way I do at fifteen miles how in the world will I ever survive 18, 20, 24, and 26?

I am NOT an elite athlete (ya think?), but rather have a life in addition to running. Whether or not I feel like it the Monday morning after a long run I still need to walk, stoop, bend, navigate stairs, FUNCTION! I do not have the luxury of ordering room service and soaking in a tub. I actually feel lucky and blessed that I have the ability to take it so easy the remainder of Sunday, as I know many of you might not even have this.

I think that what comes into play then is my mental game. Can I keep plugging away as the miles rack up, the aches continue to grow stronger, the long runs longer? Will I be able to handle it when Monday mornings get harder and harder to face?

Of course I can/will! I can, and will succeed at anything I put my mind and heart into. I am giving this marathon my all and I talk in terms of when not if. I will not be put off my from dream. I will get to feel that finishers medal around my neck. The variables are not about finishing the race. They are about the many paths (physical AND mental) that I will need to travel to arrive at the start line ready and able to finish. To my "finish strong" mantra I am thinking of adding "always strong in body, mind, and spirit." What do ya think?

New shoes......................................

I decided that I absolutely could not wait for sidewalk sales to get new shoes so I went to the running store yesterday to see if they would give me a ten percent discount on a pair to get me through until sale time. I ended up getting two identical pair for thirty percent off or to put it another way...FOR THE SIDEWALK SALE PRICE! Another reason why it never hurts to ask, and why I am a firm believer in going to a specialty running store for my shoes. Clothes I will get anywhere, but shoes and socks (I have found the hard way) are important to get from someplace that knows running.

How cool is it that I don't have to fight sidewalk sale crowds??? The store was so NOT crowded that I ask the guy to check out my stride and foot strike. You run at your comfortable pace on a treadmill and they have it hooked up to a computer that takes a video of you running and then they can slow it down and show you what you are doing right and wrong. The best news is my calf's DID NOT look fat in the video! Yah!!! The other good news is the guy said my foot strike was good and I come down on my mid-foot rather my toe or heel which would be not so good. He also noted that while my right foot looks good, my left foot was toeing out a bit. I am hoping this is only because I was having some pain from not having good shoes in my left lower leg. I am planning on going back in a few weeks and having them look again to see if it corrects itself now that I have the proper footwear.

About my fifteen mile run this morning....................

It was terrific! I had everything laid out the night before, my Gatorade stashed on the side of the road, camel bac filled, and mind looking forward to an early morning run. I tried to get to bed early, but I just couldn't get to sleep. At least I was relaxing so it was okay that sleep did not come until eleven.

I laughed when I reached three miles and my watch said only 34 minutes had passed. I still don't know what it was about that radio show that slowed me down, but maybe I should try listening to it the next time I want to go to sleep.

I have decided that I get my best ideas around mile seven. This week I decided it would be cool if when I reached home at mile ten I could snag (my) Mister and have him do the last five (his scheduled amount) with me. I didn't put much hope on the notion as he might not even be up yet considering it was not even 7 AM.

I completed the 10 miles in 2 hours and 9 minutes. I went into the house to use the bathroom and (my) Mister was up and willing to throw on some clothes and do the 5 miles with me. It was our first official run together. I woke up the youngest and had her come up on the sofa to sleep in case anyone woke up in the next hour and needed something.

(my) Mister worked really hard and did a great job running. He is still needing to walk a bit and has to fight the "I cant's" that seem to jump out of no where, but he is a great sport, and really only needs to get his time up slightly to be at my pace.

Ready for a laugh?

Running (and walking some of) the last 5 miles at a slower pace, and completing 15 miles (2 more than last week) I still finished FIVE MINUTES FASTER than last week. 15 miles in 3 hours 10 minutes. Much closer to the pace that I plan to run the marathon at. Good job Patty!

P.S.

Almost forgot to tell you...fifteen miles is the farthest I ever ran at one time! So far that is! I am looking forward to breaking that record in a couple of weeks. This distance thing is getting addictive.