Checking in.............................

Yesterday was ugly.

One of those days when the negative slips in and takes over your entire existence. I wanted to escape my body and be me again. The me that is physically active, and can run for 4.5 hours and live to tell about it. Not the current me that is dragging herself into an upright position to do twenty squats and being able to literally feel the muscle wasting that is underway after such a short time of being out of commission. Not the me that lays around and sees all these things that need doing, but can't face tackling them with one hand. I was so wishing that it were the end of October so I could tell everyone all the cobwebs are my creative, inexpensive Halloween decorations. But it isn't, so they are just plain cobwebs, the sign of a lazy housekeeper.

I am tired of that nagging, constant pain. Not so bad that I want to take the pain medication that don't really take it away, but do make me itch because my body is very sensitive to chemicals/toxins and I itch like crazy while it is expels the built up toxin through my skin.

The best way I have found to get rid of negative feelings is to express gratitude, and I don't know anyone that has more to be grateful for than I do...

It bears repeating that it could have been my right (dominate) wrist that I broke which would have been much more frustrating.

It could have been my sacrum that I broke if I wouldn't have shifted all of my weight onto my left wrist, which might have made doing the marathon impossible.

I have acute pain, not chronic pain. I WILL heal and get better. Many people will not. And the itching... I am grateful that my body has a way of getting rid of the toxins so they don't hang out in my cells for a lot longer.

I am grateful that I WILL run again. I will get my base level of fitness back up, and I will continue to gain strength both physically and mentally, for many years to come.

I am beyond grateful for the loving, supportive family I have been blessed with. My youngest gets up at 5:30 in the morning to transfer, dress, and/or shower residents as needed. She brushes/washes my hair, and assisted me with my bra/dressing until I was able to again do it myself. (My) Mister works his day job, then comes home and takes over my job. He listens to me whine and bitch without taking it (too) personally, which is a HUGE growth for him, and what I need more than anything else in the world from him.

I am grateful for the ability to be continuing to work. I have a couple of residents that can't be safely transferred with one hand. It has just worked out. Either an extra arm showed up just at the right time, or the residents have been patient in waiting to be transferred to their more comfy chairs. Being self-employed means I don't get paid if I don't work, and at this stage in our (financial) lives we still depend on my income.

I have insurance. Yet to receive any statements, but I know the cost is going to be high, and I am grateful that the charges will not set us back financially us as they might have without coverage.

Those are a few of the big things I am grateful for. There are all those silly little things I am grateful for like the fact that I didn't gain ANY weight while on the steroids. Or the fact that (my) Mister is a superstar at recoding the ends of TV shows that I fall asleep watching, or just shows he knows I enjoy. Using the remote control seems to be one of a very small number of things that I do just fine with one hand. Having helped out with the Ops for some time now, (my) Mister is VERY good at fixing my plate to make eating more manageable with one hand WITHOUT me having to ask, or having the food get cold while he cuts it up into stabable and/or scoopable bites.

I could go on, but this has been enough to even out my mood, and I have some dirty dishes, laundry, and a floor that I need to tackle so I will end for now.


I hope every one's training program is going well, goals are being reached, and new ones are being set. Remember I have one more week to live vicariously through you, so GET OUT THERE!